You are probably reading this because you and your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up and you want to find a way to get him or her back.

The good news is that in almost every situation a make up or reconciliation of the relationship can be worked out. The bad news is that it takes time and planning.

The point is that if the reconciliation is rushed or if you do not take certain steps you will only be setting the relationship up for another failure.

So to begin, take a look at the tips below:

1) Take time for yourself
2) Thoroughly evaluate the relationship and what went wrong
3) Decide what the true problems were, accept responsibility for your faults
4) Decide if you are willing to make any needed changes
5) Decide if you are willing to accept your ex as he or she is
6) Determine where you stand in the heart of your ex
7) Do not be pushy
8) Begin communicating with your ex, but go slowly
9) Discuss openly the past problems and possible solutions
10) Build a great friendship as a foundation to your renewed relationship

As you can see, this make up will not happen overnight. But if you follow the steps once your relationship is reconciled it will be stronger than ever.

Begin by allowing yourself time to reflect and get used to the idea of being without your ex.

Once you recover from the initial shock of the break up and the changes in your life you may find that you are in fact happier than you were during your involvement with your ex.

If that is the case then you should be grateful for the time you had together but realize that perhaps a reconciliation is possibly not the solution to your issues.

During this time you should be doing several things. First of all you should allow yourself to adjust to being alone.

Feeling down and out is very much acceptable at this stage. But after a few days it is time to start focusing on you and what you need.

This includes taking time to do some of the things that you may have missed out on during the relationship.

Get yourself in shape physically, mentally and emotionally.

You should not present yourself as needy and lost. Instead, be an inspiration to those around you.

Show them that you can take whatever life throws at you.

If you must cry and mope try to do so when you are alone.

By forcing yourself to be strong you will feel better sooner.

Take time to consider your relationship as it was. Think about how it began and how and when problems developed.

You should be willing to accept ownership of your own faults but at the same time be open enough to see that your ex undoubtedly contributed to the problems.

You will then need to decide if you are willing to make any necessary changes in yourself to make the relationship stronger in the event of a reconciliation.

You should also be aware that your ex may not be willing to make any changes and so you will need to determine if you are willing to accept him or her as they are.

If you are truly loved by your ex he or she will probably be willing to work on any issues that the two of you agree on.

It is necessary to determine where you really stand with your ex.

Find a way to communicate with your ex but do not be pushy about it.

Spending a few minutes in a phone conversation is a good start. Move forward slowly and carefully.

When you finally feel that it is time then you should spend time with your ex going over the relationship and the possibility of getting back together.

Again, move forward slowly. Avoid getting too intimate too quickly.

Work on developing a strong friendship. Do things that you enjoy together.

Talk and talk some more. Then when it is time to truly reconcile your relationship will have a solid foundation to carry it through any tough times ahead.

I hope that you have found some helpful tips here for how to build a lasting relationship.

But you always need to keep learning and researching for more help and expert guidance if you want to keep things fresh and current.
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